The Trouble With Tabitha
by Red Witch
Summary: Inspired by 'Walk on the Wild Side'. While Tabitha plays with the Girls, the Brotherhood wonders how they are gonna cope.


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Tabitha blew up another disclaimer telling you that I don't own X-Men Evolution characters. Well I loved "Walk on the Wild Side!" And we finally learned what happened to Fred's hair. Why oh why am I not shocked that Tabitha had something to do with it? I'm gonna do a few stories centering on the girls later. Right now, how do the boys from the Brotherhood cope with Tabitha going out with the X-Girls? 

**The Trouble With Tabitha**

That night the four Brotherhood boys sat around the kitchen table, eating ice cream Pietro had stolen. "I can't believe she stole my jeep!" Lance moaned. "I chained it up and everything!"

"Yeah like she wasn't gonna bomb the chains," Pietro rolled his eyes. "Brilliant idea Lance!"

"Forget the jeep!" Fred was near tears. "She shaved off all my hair! Okay it wasn't much but it was my hair!"

"You think you got it bad?" Todd spat out. "You ain't the one she keeps walking in on naked! It's sexual harassment! I'm scarred for life! That is it! I am not taking any more showers until I know for sure she is out of the house!"

"Not that we can tell the difference much Toad," Pietro cracked.

"Laugh it up funny boy!" Todd snapped. "I'll bet you wouldn't like it if she did it to you!"

"She did," Lance told him. "And me and Freddy!"

"She shaved my hair," Fred took out a paper bag and emptied the contents in front of him. "This is all that's left! My beautiful hair!" 

"She's a pervert!" Todd snapped. "If any of us walked in on her she'd be crying murder and then commit murder! But because she's a girl she thinks she can get away with it!" 

"At least she doesn't take pictures of you in the shower," Pietro grumbled.

"You have a point," Todd said.

"She is a klepto-psycho!" Lance groaned. "She keeps stealing my jeep! Heaven only knows what she's doing with it!"

"I know what she's doing," Pietro said. "It's so obvious. She's been hanging with the Geek Squad Girls and they've been pretending they're superheroes. They're the Bayville Sirens! I followed them one night."

"Wait a minute," Todd asked. "Are you telling me that Boom Boom, our Boom Boom, Miss Tabitha 'My Day is Not Complete Unless I Bomb the Princess Perfect's Locker' is hanging around with Miss Goody Two Shoes herself?"

"It's true," Pietro nodded. "She's hanging around with them every night like they're best friends or something! I couldn't believe it myself."

"Women," Lance sighed. "I don't get it. One minute they're scratching their eyes out and the next they act like they're best friends or something. I'll never understand them."

"Well at least you know now why Kitty's been too busy to call you on the phone," Pietro told him. "She's been all buddy-buddy with our Boom Boom!" 

"You mean there's a possibility she might go back to the X-Freaks?" Todd arched his eyebrows. "I don't know whether to feel hopeful or shocked. No, hopeful. Definitely hopeful! If she does go back I may even take another shower this month to celebrate!" 

"Then we can all celebrate," Pietro snickered. 

"I'll celebrate when my hair grows back," Fred sniffed. 

"You know maybe Rogue wasn't so bad as a Brotherhood Girl," Lance sighed. "At least she didn't steal our stuff."

"Or invade our privacy," Pietro added. 

"Or shave off my hair!" Fred bawled. 

"Freddy let it go already," Lance groaned.

"I don't have a choice! I don't have any hair!" Fred shouted. 

"So what do we do?" Todd asked. 

"I guess I just have to wait until it grows back in or something," Fred sighed.

"Not your hair, Einstein!" Todd snapped. "Tabitha! What do we do with her?" 

"We are going to have to have a serious talk with that girl," Pietro sighed.

"Oh now who has the stupid plan?" Lance snapped. 

"Oh yeah that'll work," Todd rolled his eyes.

"Since when does Tabby listen to anything we say around here?" Lance asked. 

"We gotta teach her a lesson!" Fred snapped. "Hey how about we take off and do guy stuff by ourselves?"

"Freddy we do that nearly every night," Lance groaned. "Or more accurately, she takes off while we sit on our butts, watch TV, and eat."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Fred said.

"Well we gotta do something yo!" Todd snapped. "I don't even feel safe in my own home! A man's gotta right to have privacy in his own castle!"

"Yeah!" Pietro said. "If we all gang up on her we can teach her a lesson she'll never forget!" 

"You really think we can take her?" Fred asked. 

"Fred there's four of us against one of her," Pietro said. Then he turned white. "What am I saying? She'll cream us!"

"That's it!" Lance hit his hand on the table. "There is no way I am gonna let that psychotic bimbo intimidate us! She's gotta know what's what around here and I am gonna lay down the law as soon as she walks through that door! And if she doesn't like it she can hit the road!" 

"Yeah that's telling her Lance!" Todd nodded.

"Say it Brother!" Fred shouted.

That was when they heard the jeep come to a screeching halt in the driveway. Tabitha kicked open the front door and stormed into the house, still in her Bayville Sirens uniform. "THAT GOODY-GOOD LITTLE WIMP!" She screeched. She stormed into the kitchen and threw an energy bomb out the window, barely missing the Brotherhood's heads. 

"Do you wanna know how my evening went?" Tabitha did not wait for an answer. "I'll tell you how my evening went! I've been hanging out with some of the Geek Girls lately y'know, I thought it was something to do, girls to hang with, and get Jean to pay for a few free lunches and some outfits and stuff. What's the harm right? So we decide to become this kick butt heroine team and started cutting down the crime rate around here. Tonight was the bomb! We followed these guys to a chop shop and they're like about twenty or so of them waiting for us. And they're like, 'We're gonna get you' and we tell them 'I don't think so!' and kick their butts! We fried them good without breaking a sweat! You'd think that'd be great right? Right? Well all of the sudden this cop comes along and she starts giving us this lecture about responsibility and the law and stuff and then has the nerve to tell us what to do. Well I was about to tell here where she could go stick her nightstick when Princess Perfect stops me, then they promise not to do it again so that they wouldn't get arrested! What a bunch of wimps! I mean we took down twenty bad guys without quivering but when one cop comes along those sissies are shaking in their boots! Can you believe it?"

She sat down and grabbed a gallon of ice cream and started eating, not waiting for the guys to speak. "And then, here's the kicker, when we do go I ask them what time I pick them up for tomorrow's patrol, they go ballistic! Long story short…"

"Too late," Todd quipped. 

"The Bayville Sirens are history! Finite-o! I mean what an idiot I was to think that those geeks could actually be cool! Just when Jean 'I'm Too Perfect for Myself' finally removes that stick up her butt and starts acting like a real person, she freezes up faster than water in the Arctic Circle! And the other girls follow her like the sheep they are!" 

"Uh Tabby…" Lance began.

"What was I thinking?" Tabitha shouted. "I really thought I could get the Geek Girls to relax and have some fun but boy was I wrong! Well I have learned my lesson. No more Ms. Nice Girl I am telling you! From now on it is all out war! You hear me? War! I'm going to my room!" She took the ice cream and stormed out. 

"Gee Lance I hope you weren't too rough on her," Pietro said sarcastically. 

"So she's staying," Todd sighed. "Well it was a nice dream. It lasted a full five minutes."

"My hair…" Fred moaned.

"Oh shut up and pass the Rocky Road," Lance grumbled. 


End file.
